Can some one reword this to make is seem more deeper and meaningfull then it already?

here is the twist the only word you can use from the original quote is the word dream



its painfull i dont want to kill you but if you advance i will have no choice then i will kill the kindess in my own heart and i will fully embrace the warrior way. Please do not blame me i fight for someone that is precious to me. I love for him and i will die for him so i can see that his dreams becomes reality.Can some one reword this to make is seem more deeper and meaningfull then it already?
"The thought of killing hurts so badly but not killing you is so much more so. I will supress any kind feelings I still have if it will help me become a soldier girl. A killer. Don't say "It's all because of you" as he is more to me than the light and air. I adore him and am willing to sacrifice myself if the dreams he holds so dear will come true."



this was just a random try- i didn't really check for not using words from the original but hey- not too badCan some one reword this to make is seem more deeper and meaningfull then it already?
Think of how you would say this to another person so it flows more naturally.